Sonntag, 30. Dezember 2007

The same procedure as every year, James!

Today would be a good day to talk about what the last year has brought me and what I hope the next will bring. Actually I'm totally tired and my feet hurt like hell because I decided to wear new shoes at work today, but I better try none the less or I won't get it over with this year.

BTW is it strange if I watch Le Pacte de Loups on the telly, a girl gets killed horribly and I pity the cute dog that had to watch it all? I think I saw too many people today.

So, 2007 is almost over. And again it has been a pretty tough year. I got my BA, the grade being what I had wanted. But it all was so overshadowed by all the uncertainty of what would come after the BA that I couldn't enjoy any of it. My mother's fretting didn't help to calm my own fears. Then there is the negative influence of the people I share this flat with. Too much unrest, too many things to worry about, and not much consideration for my things, my feelings and my moods have led me to the conclusion that I am really not fit for sharing a flat. I suspected it before but I have realized that I really am a hermit. Add to this the stress-related health problems and you have already half of my year.

The other half at least was made up of nicer things. My family have been despite the fretting a constant source of support for me, and going home has at least given me some days of complete peace and quiet and much-needed rest. My friends, few that I have, have helped me out and let me know that I not always have to carry the weight of life all alone. And even if there are things that they can't help me with, at least I can chew their ears off whining about all the hardships that I suffer. I got to enjoy studying again; after that horrible time writing my thesis the Masters Programme seems well worth the work and the money that I spend on it. And I have rediscovered my love for science fiction and wonderful TV serials that have managed in a lovely way to draw my thoughts away from all the problems that bother me.

So half good and half bad... well it could have been worse. 2008 is a leap year, a year of change. I wonder how big a change it will be. I yearn for some changes, but I am desperately afraid of a change like the one that 2000 brought. No change is wholly good or bad I think; there are two sides to everything. I will try to make some changes myself. I want to do some kind of sports again which helps me very much to put up with the stress. Doing Kung Fu again would be best, I think. I want to move out of this place and into my own flat again. I've had enough of sharing the fridge and doing everyone's dishes. And I want to find a job that is closer to what I am studying. If I find something suitable I might even quit studying altogether.

But these are just thoughts and not even plans. My plans hardly ever work out, so I have given up making any solid ones. And I'll see what the new year will bring.

You might wonder that I have left out one thing: a love life. Well, mine has been nonexistent for the past year, and I actually don't expect many changes in that. I already thought last year that I wouldn't spend 2007 all alone, and I was wrong. So this time, I will not even think about it, thankyouverymuch.

Donnerstag, 27. Dezember 2007

The End of Things

So, this is the last night at home for this year. I am going back to Berlin tomorrow and I'll work for the rest of the year. Well, what is left of it.

I'm still lurking around the post about the last year and about the year ahead, the usual resume and the look into the future, but with the ominous title of this entry I'll probably save that for later. I mean, we don't have to condemn the new year even before it has begun. Maybe it gets better than the last.

Probably not, though. Oh well.

Mittwoch, 26. Dezember 2007

Ouch. WTF?

I don't know exactly how I did it, but I think when I lifted the mini-Christmastree-present for my sister-in-law's dad, I twisted something. I have been in pain all day, I was designated driver, so I could not drink. But now I'm numbing the pain with a decent amount of white whine. The party was okay, but only as most of us started playing cards. I played cards with my brother and sister-in-law's uncle, and I won. Hehe. I guess they knew what was coming when they were looking for a third player and ignored me waving like mad that I wanted to play. Or it was the usual "girls don't play skat" thing. Either way, I made them lose.

I guess, that's the Christmas spirit. :p

Dienstag, 25. Dezember 2007

To all a merry Christmas!

Frohe Weihnachten an di werte Leserschaft! Ich möchte eben mitteilen, dass ich heute zum ersten Mal den Weihnachtsbaum allein in die Wohnung geschleppt, aufgestellt und geschmückt habe. Und er sieht toll aus. Während des Schmückens hab ich "Ist das Leben nicht schön?" gesehen, mein Lieblings-Lieblings-Lieblings-Weihnachtsfilm, der mich immer zum Weinen bringt. Danach ging es zur Kirche, wo ich im Kirchenchor mitgesungen habe, wie immer ohne zur Probe gegangen zu sein. Die Damen hats trotzdem gefreut, und mir machts ja eh Spaß. Dann gings zum Friedhof, mein Vater bekommt ja auch jedes Jahr einen kleinen Baum, und ein paar Engelchen, die die Kerze bewachen.

Und pünktlich zum Abendessen, als es ans Vollstopfen gehen sollte, teilte mein Magen mir äußerst deutlich mit, dass er nichts drinbehalten würde, was ich ihm jetzt geben würde. Ja toll, kurzgebratenes Filet mit Zwiebeln ist ja nur eins meiner absoluten Lieblingsgerichte. Nunja, seit wann hab ich auch perfekte Tage? Irgendwas ist ja immer. Den zweiten Gottesdienst hab ich dann auch sausen lassen, auch wenn ich gerne hingegangen wäre. Stattdessen hab ich die Muppets Weihnachtsgeschichte (Lieblings-Lieblings-Weihnachtsfilm) angeschaut, und dann Drei Haselnüsse für Aschenbrödel. Das hatte ich dieses Jahr auch noch nicht gesehen. Und eben klang der Abend aus, indem ich mit Muttern in Schlafklamotten vorm Ferseher saß und alte Filme geschaut hab. Haaach. Immerhin das perfekte Ende eines schönen Heiligabend. Haaach. Für Muttern und mich ist das eh ideal, faul schöne Filme anschauen und Wein trinken. Sowas gibts hier eh nur einmal im Jahr. Morgen wird das ganze dann unterbrochen von der Geburtstagsfeier. Wir werden sehen, wie wir das wegstecken.

Achja, zwischendurch gabs auch noch Geschenke. Ich konnte mich aufgrund meines Körperzustandes nicht so recht konzentrieren auf das, was ich gemacht habe, und daher muss ich die Sammeltasse (alt, gutes Porzellan, und mit orangenen Blumen = toll) morgen erstmal genauer begutachten. Dazu eine Menge Geld (wahrscheinlich der Flug für England nächstes Jahr), ein Salatbesteck, und eine tolle Abtropfschale von Villeroy und Boch mit einem wunderschönen Muster, zu dem ich mir mit Sicherheit mal die passende Tischdecke sticken werde. Ich will endlich wieder meinen eigenen Haushalt, damit ich solche schönen Dinge auch mitnehmen und benutzen kann. In die Nähe meiner MiBeWos kommen diese Dinge jedenfalls nicht mal ansatzweise.

Mein Bruder hat sich weggefreut über seine Bücher. Meine Mutter dagegen war enttäuscht, dass sie keins bekommen hat. Was heißt, dass ich mir noch aufschreiben muss, was sie schon hat, und dann im Hugendubel noch was nettes für den Neijörken besorgen werd. Nunja, damit weiß ich schonmal das Geschenk fürs nächste Jahr. Meine Schwägerin hoffe ich erfolgreich mit Bartimäus anzufixen. Danach dann mit Artemis Fowl. Das kriegt allerdings erstmal meine 10-jährige Nachbarin. Mal schaun, ob sie das mag, sie ist eigentlich nicht so ne Leseratte.

Haaach. Ich mag Weihnachten.

Sonntag, 23. Dezember 2007

Ooohhhh, creativity! Shiny!

Before I go to bed I thought I should make sure that I don't forget juggling some ideas for my term paper tomorrow. Others write themselves notes, or tattoo things into their skin so they won't forget, I use the blog.

The thing is, my professor suggested we do some fictional writing instead of the usual boring theoretical term paper, and I pretty much like the idea. I also have a back-up plan (the two Doctor Who episodes dealing with Victorian times) but finally writing something fictional within my worktime is pretty tempting. I just don't know if I can squeeze enough out of my brain, but I'd like to try.

Apart from that I think the 30-hour day should be invented so that I actually have enough time for something as time-consuming as writing besides my normal schedule of studying, working, reading, watching stuff, the forum and whatever else I do that eats up so much of my time and still makes my life seem worthwhile.

Samstag, 22. Dezember 2007

Onkel Rauhreif war da!

Yay, ich liebe Winter hier. Wenn ich aus dem Fenster gucke, dann sehe ich den Wald hinten komplett in weiß. Da klebt ein Zentimeter Rauhreif an den Ästen. Ich war schon Fotos machen, inzwischen sind meine Finger auch wieder so weit aufgetaut, dass ich tippen kann.

Was ich besonders bemerkenswert finde, sogar der Kater hat für Fotos posiert. Hab ich die Kamera auf ihn gehalten, hat er innegehalten, und wenn ich abgedrückt hab, hat er sich weitergeräkelt. Dann ist er auf den Überresten vom Pool spazieren gegangen. Und ich sollte dem Hund was zu tun geben, sonst versucht er nochmal meinen Kaffee zu trinken.

Meine Weihnachtsgeschenke sind jetzt übrigens auch da. Sie kamen gestern, eine Stunde nachdem ich zu meiner Oma gefahren war. Huh, mein Bruder trudelt gerade auch ein.

Donnerstag, 20. Dezember 2007

Pah! Ich kann auch zurückerobern!

Oh, nur der Vollständigkeit halber. Ich bin dann gestern rüber ins Zimmer meiner MiBeWo, habe sie aus ihrem Schlaf aufgeschreckt und meine DVD wiedergeholt. Ist ja nicht so als wären wir nicht alle erwachsen hier oder so.

Fasst die einfach so meine DVDs an, ich glaub es hackt...

Und jetzt sollte ich endlich mal mit dem Packen anfangen. In einer Stunde gehts los, und dann nach Hause. Weihnachten. Und ich sollte aushören darüber nachzudenken, dass ich nächste Woche dann schon wieder in dieser stinkenden Stadt in dieser nervigen WG bin. Dazu liegt einfach eine Woche schönes Hundi-Kuscheln dazwischen.

Gott, wie ich diese WG hasse!

M. hat vorhin noch zu mir gemeint, ich sollte mich am letzten Abend in dieser WG bevor ich nach Hause fahre nicht ärgern lassen. Ich dachte auch, das wäre nicht möglich. Irgend jemand hat meine The Prestige-DVD genommen. Die, die ich heute noch gucken wollte. Und jetzt bin ich einfach nur so sauer, das mal wieder jemand sich an meinem Kram bedient, dass ich derjenigen mal eben einen Besuch abstatten werde, weil ich meine DVD wieder haben will. Ich kann jetzt eh Schlaf vergessen, einfach weil ich so wütend bin. Was soll denn bitte der Scheiß???

Dienstag, 18. Dezember 2007

Von wegen neutral...

Naja, was soll ich machen, wenn die tollen Winter-Fotos hier liegen, der Scanner aber zu Haus aufm Dorf ist? Ich werde also mal wieder die Photoshop-CD mitnehmen, und versuchen ein Programm auf den Vista-Laptop zu installieren. Oh Gott, ich hab jetzt schon Angst. Also, bis ich das geschafft habe, gibts den tollen Christian Bale-Header, den ich letztes Jahr irgendwann gemacht habe.

Uhhh, ich darf die Recovery-CDs nicht vergessen. :angst:

Finally an update!

And finally I've gotten around to updating the reading list. Reviews of the stuff I'm finished with (and 3:10 to Yuma which I watched yesterday) are maybe posted during the Christmas break. Very much depending on my mood and how fast I am with reading the stuff for my next classes. Today I threw Lacan on Hamlet aside after about 5 pages.

So, the long pause in writing occured because I was terribly busy on the one hand (my brother and sister-in-law visited and we spent the last week roaming Christmas markets--- many of them) and because I had a terrible cold during the last couple of days (one market too much, I suppose). Now my head has stopped feeling like it's packed into cotton and I even start to hear things again. Not to mention thinking in a halfway straight line again. Apart from that I can't output (yes, that is a word) without input and I didn't have that much of an input lately. Now I had, my head feels stuffed and I need to write. Just no reviews today.

So, I did most of the Christmas shopping today, and there is actually only one present missing which I will hopefully buy tomorrow. I mailed out two packages today, as well, and tomorrow night I'll visit M. after class, get free food and hand out presents in return. Apart from that I will try to either appear not to be there during my classes tomorrow because I am completely unprepared or try to make my professor believe I know exactly what he's talking about as I am completely unprepared for my classes. And no, I won't prepare anything today anymore. I don't want to think about Lacan's psychoanalist readings of Hamlet just right now. I have a distinct feeling it would ruin the Christmas spirit I'm in right now. (No, I'm not talking about alcohol.)

So, apart from the book update, a new fandom! As if I didn't have enough already. Well, the forum got me hooked again. I accidently stumbled over Season 2 of SGA, watched that in two days, proceeded with Season 3 (apart from a few episodes) and finished the first half of Season 4 today. Really like it. Can't even begin to describe what I love about it. And as I said, no reviews today. And I realized why everyone thinks I'm Canadian when they hear me speaking English. Thinking about my accent I realized I sound pretty Canadian for someone who has never had contact with a Canadian accent. Don't ask me how that happened. But I sound like Rodney.

And now, I guess, I'll figure out a new header for the blog. I'm so torn between fandoms right now, I think I'll have to go for something neutral this time. Probably.

Samstag, 15. Dezember 2007

Grippe? Braucht doch keiner, sowas.

Ich freue mich verkünden zu dürfen, dass sich eines meiner Krankheitssymptome verkrümelt hat. Ich hoffe auch, es bleibt da, wo der Pfeffer wächst, denn mit diesem Krankheitssymptom kann ich nicht arbeiten. Bleiben nur noch drei bis vier weitere. Ein ausgewachsener Schnupfen, ein Husten, der meine Bronchien erzittern lässt auf schmerzhafte Weise versteht sich, Kopfschmerzen, die mich vergessen lassen, dass ich ein Hirn besitze, und so das allgemeine Schlappsein, das mit Kranksein einhergeht. Naja. Auch das wird wieder besser. *Teeschlürf*

Ich bin übrigens weniger erfreut festzustellen, dass das Forum anscheinend auch krank ist. Der Server scheint im Bett zu liegen und zu schlafen. Oder jemand hat versucht ihm Tee zu geben. Naja, ich muss ja eh bald aus dem Haus.

Und ich wette am Montag schaff ich auch noch ein Update des Blogs, was Bücher und Sucht betrifft. Das ist ja nicht mehr annähernd aktuell.

Donnerstag, 6. Dezember 2007

Since when is this in English?


I just noticed that the whole page suddenly appears in English. Has Blogger noticed that I post in English and adjusted their website? Strange. For those of you who wonder why I post in English: I quite often find it easier. I mean I read mostly in English, and I spend quite a bit of time watching TV shows and films in English. It's just easier not to switch back to German. If I would want to write a novel, I strangely enough would write it in English because it feels more natural. Maybe I should check whether I live in the right country. ;)

What I just wanted to say: I have been quite busy the last couple of days that I haven't gotten around to updating the blog or even posting. But I'll try to do that as soon as possible. I even might write some reviews and get a new header. (If I get Photoshop installed on this computer.) But right now I have to put up Christmas decorations and bake cookies.

Freitag, 30. November 2007

Oh nö, nicht schon wieder!

Wer hat's Forum kaputtgemacht??? Na, wer wars? :suspekt:

Anyway... Stargate Atlantis läuft. Shiny, ich habe Beschäftigung.

Dienstag, 27. November 2007

I wish I had a river...

I just realized I'll spend yet another Christmas alone this year... How sad is that.

Sonntag, 25. November 2007

Jack Maggs by Peter Carey

Jack Maggs is a novel by Peter Carey that is roughly addressing Great Expectations. It focuses on the story of the convict Jack Maggs searching for Henry Phipps, a boy who gave him food when he was on the way to the prison ship headed for Australia. The book follows several characters an plotlines. There is Maggs own story, written by him for Henry to read. There is the story of the other inmates of the house Maggs ends up in as a footman to bide his time until Phipps returns. He meets Mercy, a servant girl, whose story swings from sad to heroic to pathetic. And there is the story of Tobias Oates and his family, who keenly resemble Charles Dickens and his family. So in a way it is the story about what might have inspired an author like Dickens to write a story like Great Expectations, which persons might have influenced him and so on.

The book is a good read because of these different intertwined plotlines. I guess if I had known Great Expectations and a bit more about Dickens' life even more details would have been familiar to me. But I found the second part a little long, and the ending (a postcolonial moralizing) a bit too artificial. So it's 6 of 10 magnets.

Ouch. AGAIN!!!

Today, we add physical pain to the usual stuff. Ouch, my feet. Ouch, my back. Ouch, ouch, ouch. Ushering people really can be exhausting. But the more you move, the better you are. So I'll stop whining now and just go and take a nice hot shower.

BTW, the icon --- I used my photoshop. Well, just to size it down so I can use it on the forum. So again, not my work. Anyway I picked it, because that was the look I gave one of the Blue Men last night, and he responded with exactly the same look. Just without the smile. (Not to mention David Tennant looking absolutely gogeus in that pic. *fangirl*) But the way he approached me then coming up the stairs in strobe light reminded me extremely of "Blink". It felt like I was blinking, only that the lights just went out for a second, and when they turned up again, menacing Blue Man was closer. I actually took a step back. I just couldn't figure out until just now of what it reminded me.

Samstag, 24. November 2007

Ouch.

I haven't been writing for a while but there is not that much to say anyway. I'm not in the best mood at the moment in general; everything around here just seems to be grey and dark, and as much as I try to see the nice things and feel comfy, I just fail most of the time.

I'm also extremely busy and still behind with my work which I find a bit annoying. It's adding to the stress and as a reason I have the stress symptoms coming back. It's in a way very much of a daily struggle to deal with it all right now. But I'm doing what I can.

Well, I guess everyone's just very tired once in a while.

Samstag, 17. November 2007

I want my Photoshop!!!

I'm just waiting for my computer to finish something and I was in the mood for a new visual representation after the Doomsday look consisting of these:

Today I didn't have anything to do, so I went on reading Great Expectations, which is fastly becoming one of my favourite books, and downloaded a thousand pictures. I thought, well let's make a new sig and ava. And then I realized: I have no Photoshop on the computer. I just haven't got around installing it yet. (During the last six month. Yeah, I now. Remember the soap dispenser?) But now I really wanted the new sig, so I decided to try Paint. OMG. I so want my photoshop. Cutting the picture was not that difficult. But there is no sizing tool. At least not a proper one. I had to calculate percentages. And manually adjust the frame size. No lovely colour grading, no brushes... hell, I'm no expert using photoshop, but it does make (fangirl-)life a lot easier. After the new sig I was too exhausted for a new ava, so I'll be using one that I snatched for while. Until I sit in front of the other computer and have time to make my own.

BTW, taking your dog for a walk and stamp through the mud is just brilliant. The air is so clear here, the trees are just always beautiful... I just want to buy me some old farmhouse around here and want to become the strange lady that lives outside the village and that children are afraid of.

Mittwoch, 14. November 2007

Excellent!

Ich habe gerade einen recht... speziellen Brief von der Uni bekommen. Der Dekan möchte mir gerne mein Zeugnis überreichen. Der Dekan. Wahhhhh! :imKreisrenn: war die erste Reaktion. Die zweite: ich zieh was Schickes an. :mehdchen: Die dritte: was, bin ich die Erste? Das ist mir suspekt. Und jetzt frage ich mich, wer da mehr Glückwünsche bekommt, ich oder der Dekan. Ist schließlich mein Abschluss. Da möchte ich auch mal im Mittelpunkt stehen.

Ganz ehrlich, ich hatte schon mit so etwas ähnlichem gerechnet. Ich bin eine der relativ wenigen, die den BA tatsächlich in sechs Semestern geschafft hat, und ich hab nebenher auch noch gearbeitet. Da kann man ruhig stolz sein. Ich finde, ich hab auch mal eine ordentliche Zeugnisübergabe verdient. Vielleicht kommt dann endlich mal der Moment, an dem ich stolz darauf sein kann, dass ich tatsächlich was geleistet habe.

BTW: Auf dem Brief stand oben was von Exzellenz-Uni drauf, weil wir uns das ja jetzt schimpfen können. Dann meine Anschrift: Herr Purslane Willis. Ick bin immer noch weiblich und heiße Will. Wehe die haben mein Zeugnis falsch ausgestellt, dann jibts Backpfeifen.

Dienstag, 13. November 2007

Die Freuden der Stellenanzeigen

Jetzt muss ich meinen Frust schon im Blog loswerden, weil das Forum immer noch nicht geht. Was ich schon immer mal sagen wollte: ich hasse Stellenanzeigen. Ich hasse sie abgrundtief. Nun ist es nicht so, dass ich unbedingt einen Job finden muss, zumindest nicht in den nächsten paar Stunden. Ich habe einen Job, und so sehr ich auch am letzten Wochenende geflucht habe, ich mag diesen Job. Gerade das Gäste-Vollquatschen gefällt mir, und dass man tatsächlich Sachen verkauft, die die Leute auch wollen. Deswegen sind sämtliche Call-Center-Jobs bei mir schonmal raus. Da geh ich lieber putzen. Aber wir reden hier ja von Studentenjobs, und damit bin ich relativ gut versorgt.

Der Grund, warum ich mich durch Stellenanzeigen wühle, ist, dass ich immer noch keine Idee habe, was ich denn nach dem Studium machen möchte. Ich kann Englisch sprechen, übersetzen, und ich kann ganz gut denken. Lesen, schreiben und atmen zähle ich jetzt mal nicht als besondere Fähigkeiten auf. Dummerweise wird nach diesen Fähigkeiten nicht gerade gesucht. Nach ungefähr drei Seiten wünschte ich mir, ich hätte was anständiges gelernt oder doch auf Lehramt studiert. Hab ich aber nicht, und jetzt ist es auch ein bisschen spät um daran noch etwas zu ändern. Und ich sollte erwähnen, dass meine Mutter in so ziemlich jedem Telefonat meint: "Ich dachte, du könntest doch im Verlach arbeiten." Ja, Mama, das denken ne Menge andere Studenten in dieser Stadt auch. Und ob ich im Verlag arbeiten will, steht auch nochmal auf einem ganz anderen Blatt.

Und das führt dann wieder zu der Grundsatzdiskussion, die jedesmal kommt, wenn man mich fragt, was ich denn nach dem Studium machen will. Als ich angefangen habe Englisch und Film zu studieren, wurde ich gefragt, warum. Ich sagte, weil es Spaß macht, und bekam die prompte Antwort: "Um Spaß geht es aber nicht beim Arbeiten." Da stellt sich mir automatisch die Frage: ja warum eigentlich nicht, verdammte Axt??? Ich verkaufe 40 Stunden meines Lebens in der Woche, das einzige Gut, dass ich wirklich besitze, und über das ich verfügen kann, und dann darf ich nichtmal Spaß dran haben? (Ja, ich bin idealistisch veranlagt, und ja, ich weiß auch, dass nicht jeder Job immer Spaß machen kann. Ich arbeite schließlich auch schon ein Weilchen.) Bei mir steht der Spaßfaktor mit dem Verdienstfaktor so ziemlich auf einer Stufe. Wenn der Job keinen Spaß macht, dann weiß ich, dass ich das nicht lange aushalte, und zwar aus dem Grund, dass ich einfach nicht will. Wenn ich nicht will, hab ich keinen Erfolg, ergo noch weniger Spaß, und irgendwann schmeiß ich dann hin. Alles verdammt verzwickt in der Arbeitswelt.

Trotz aller Frustration, wenn es um die Jobsuche nach dem Studium geht, muss ich allerdings eins sagen: ich habe ein unerschütterliches Vertrauen darin, dass ich schon was finden werde. Ich weiß nicht so recht, wo das herkommt, aber irgendwas wird sich schon ergeben. Ich bin schließlich nicht komplett auf den Kopf gefallen. Nur was, nur was? Naja. Grübeln bringt da jetzt sowieso so gut wie gar nichts. Außerdem sollte ich eh gerade einen Text lesen, was ich hiermit tue.

Oh! Ich bin ein Murmeltier!

Äh, guten Morgen auch. Ich glaube, ich mutiere gerade zu irgendwas, das Winterschlaf hält. Ich könnte sogar noch weiterschlafen. Jetzt aber zum wichtigsten Punkt: wer hat das Forum kaputtgemacht? Na? Naaa? Mäh, schon wieder Kommunikationsmangel. Und nein, ich bin dann nicht produktiver, weil ich dann mit der F5-Taste beschäftigt bin.

Okay. Geh ich halt was anderes machen.

EDIT: Sehr witzig. In sämtlichen Userblog heißt es: Ohnoes!!!!1einself. Mjaahh. Und wenn die Musik im Radio nicht so toll wäre, würde ich schon längst unter der Dusche stehen.

Uhhh, Stealers Wheel! *tanz*

Montag, 12. November 2007

What?!

Das Forum ist immer noch kaputt und die User sind dazu übergegangen, über ihre Blogs miteinander zu kommunizieren. Nunja, wenigstens kommunizieren wir. Und ich habe Gelegenheit den Text fürs Seminar nachher zu lesen, den ich natürlich nicht geschafft habe, weil ich 20 Stunden gearbeitet habe in den letzten zwei Tagen.

Boah, ich brauch Kaffee.

EDIT: Ich frage mich, was Ranwen wohl gerade treibt. Ich erinnere mich an den Bericht des letzten dreitägigen Forumsausfalls.

:F5:

Just for once I want to work with professionals.

As the forum still doesn't work, I'll have to rant about my workday here. First of all: how the hell did I get myself to do that every freaking weekend? The only thing youd o in that theatre is standing. All the time, with hardly a break for 9 hours. During the frist show I had the feeling my feet started to gnaw off my toes. During the interval of the second show I had the feeling they were done with the toes and started to work up their way to my knees. The guests were really strange today to. But Sunday audiences tend to be.

And just for once I want to do the math afterwords and have no money missing, nothing calculated wrong and everything just alright. I mean the prices are a bit weird, and after nine hours it is kinda hard to calculate everything in your head, but it just would be nice to know whether there is a minus because you did something wrong, your collegue did something wrong, or the person messed up completely the day before, which was the cause today, and made me stay about an hour longer, because we just couldn't reconstruct what the hell that person thought about yesterday. Probably about the drink after work. I'm back in that theatre next Monday (Weekend Home with capital letters!) and let's see how things work out then. If I have the shop that is.

Ouch, my feet. At least the rash on my face that I got yesterday at the other theatre look much better today.

Sonntag, 11. November 2007

What's this?!

First of all, why is the forum down? Not funny. I wanted to share my astonishment with them. I just got up (I'm still horribly tired), walked over to the window, pushed the curtain aside and managed a very distinguished "Whoah! What the fuck???" at the snow that has been falling during the last eight hours. There was no sign of that last night when I walked home.

The funny thing is, I ranted last night on the forum, that I want to have winter and cold and snow. I'm amazed somebody apparently listened to that.

Freitag, 9. November 2007

The dying of the light...

Halleluja, choir of angels and trumpet flourish! We got back our internet access yesterday, just in time for my day off. So I just spent the last two hours watching David Tennant's Video Diary from Series 3 of Doctor Who, and I enjoyed that very much, and now I will do something useful and read my texts for class on Monday. If I don't fall asleep again. My good mood just crumbled away though. No particular reason for that... okay, music from Ally McBeal is not really the cheeriest thing to listen too.

I tried to be a bit productive at least, but to be honest today is my weekend. I'll have to work 20 hours during the next two days, so I kind of want to spend today doing some nice things. And if I feel melancholy I just want to revel in it for a while, sit in a room lit by candles and stare out of the window into the storm.

Donnerstag, 8. November 2007

Cut off from civilization.

So here we go again. Flatmate didn't/forgot to/didn't want to/didn't care to pay the damn telephone bill, and we're cut off from the internet again, one of the two things that keep me insane in this strange place. (The other is my vivid imagination, something that you simply can't cut me off from, no matter how hard you try.) With a bit of luck I'll be back online at the beginning of next week. And now excuse me please, I have to go to class.

Dienstag, 6. November 2007

Schweinkram?!

Wenn in einem Theater zwei Leute eine knappe Stunde nebeneinander stehen und nur ab und zu einen Gast befriedigen abfertigen müssen, dann redet man über die seltsamsten Dinge. Irgendwie bin ich mit meiner Kollegin auf das Thema Pornos gekommen. Weswegen ich hiermit auf Oriens Beitrag zum Thema Porno verweise, und mal eben die Liste der Titel von Pornofilmen kopiere, weil sie mir heute mehrfach Lachanfälle beschert hat:

  • "Aladin und die Wunderschlampe"
  • "Bens Huren"
  • "Eiskalte Schwengel"
  • "Hairy Potter und die Kammer des Schleckens"
  • "Schwanz der Vampire"
  • "Arielle, die Nicht-mehr-Jungfrau"
  • "Auf der Liege der außergewöhnlichen Gentlemen"
  • "Black Cock Down"
  • "Gaylien - Directors Fuck"
  • "In Diana Jones"
  • "iPop"
  • "The Gay after Tomorrow"

Besonders Hairy Potter löst irgendwas zwischen hemmungslosem Staunen und hemmungslosem Lachen aus. Meine Kollegin sponn dann mögliche Titel mal weiter. Schneeflittchen und die sieben Zipfel liegt ja relativ nah, aber Dornmöschen (copyright S.) war mein persönliches Highlight. Alleine der Titel inspiriert schon. :ugly:

(Und nein, ich arbeite nicht bei Schw Tanz der Vampire. S. schon.)

Montag, 5. November 2007

Home!

Just the right feeling to start into a Monday but: I want to go home. I miss my Mom's cooking and I feel half starved. I want to take a walk through the forest, but another layer of mud on my once-yellow chucks and cuddle my dog. I want to have trees around me. Apart from that I have a kind of hellish week ahead with no weekend whatsoever because I work both Saturday and Sunday for ten hours each day.

Then I hardly slept at all last night. I mean it's my own fault in a way because I actually did not do very much during the day, so I wasn't tired, and I didn't eat enough, so I was hungry, and at four in the morning I was kinda bursting with energy and still awake. I guess I also got a bit overexcited because we planned the trip to Stratford it bit further last night. Until the online ticket service of the RSC crashed. It's not my fault, I swear.

Anyway, I'm looking ahead to a dreadful Monday. I should buy some bananas before I go to class. Which means I should get up, take a shower and get dressed.

Sonntag, 4. November 2007

I'm a dreamy idealist. Not that I didn't know.

Test from here. I should mention I like tests but I haven't found one yet that fits as well as this one does.

Dreamy Idealist (DI)


The dreamy idealist is very cautious and therefore often appears shy and reserved to others. He shares his rich emotional life and his passionate convictions with very few people. But one would be very much mistaken to judge him to be cool and reserved. He has a pronounced inner system of values and clear, honourable principles for which he is willing to sacrifice a great deal. Johanna von Orleans or Sir Galahad would have been good examples of this personality type. He is always at great pains to improve the world. He can be very considerate towards others and does a lot to support them and stand up for them. He is interested in his fellow beings, attentive and generous towards them. Once his enthusiasm for an issue or person is aroused, he can become a tireless fighter.

For the dreamy idealist, practical things are not really so important. He only busies himself with mundane everyday demands when absolutely necessary. He tends to live according to the motto “the genius controls the chaos” - which is normally the case so that he often has a very successful academic career. He is less interested in details; he prefers to look at something as a whole. This means that he still has a good overview even when things start to become hectic. However, as a result, it can occasionally happen that he overlooks something important. As he is very peace-loving, he tends not to openly show his dissatisfaction or annoyance but to bottle it up. Assertiveness is not one of his strong points; he hates conflicts and competition. He prefers to motivate others with his amicable and enthusiastic nature. Whoever has him as superior will never have to complain about not being given enough praise.

As at work, the dreamy idealist is a helpful and loyal friend and partner, a person of integrity. Obligations are absolutely sacred to him. The feelings of other are important to him and he loves making other people happy. He is satisfied with just a small circle of friends; his need for social contact is not very marked as he also needs a lot of time to himself. Superfluous small talk is not his thing. If one wishes to be friends with him or have a relationship with him, one would have to share his world of thought and be willing to participate in profound discussions. If you manage that you will be rewarded with an exceptionally intensive, rich partnership. Due to his high demands on himself and others, this personality type tends however to sometimes overload the relationship with romantic and idealistic ideas to such an extent that the partner feels overtaxed or inferior. The dreamy idealist does not fall in love head over heels but when he does fall in love he wants his to be a great, eternal love.

Adjectives which describe your type

introverted, theoretical, emotional, spontaneous, idealistic, dreamy, effusive, pleasant, reserved, friendly, passionate, loyal, perfectionist, helpful, creative, composed, curious, obstinate, with integrity, willing to make sacrifices, romantic, cautious, shy, peace-loving, vulnerable, sensitive, communicative, imaginative

These subjects could interest you

literature, philosophy, psychology, music, art (museums), writing, drawing/painting, astrology, spiritual things, meditation, handicrafts, writing, voluntary work

Freitag, 2. November 2007

Out of Sight, director: Stephen Soderbergh

Out of Sight is the story of Jack Foley, bank robber, who escapes from prison and tries to pull off a last coup. It is also an elegant love story that can't have a happy ending. On his flight Jack ends up in the trunk of a car with Karen Sisco, a federal marshal, with whom he falls in love. She, being drawn to him as well, follows him from Florida to Detroit where she finally has to decide what's more important: love or law.

It's hard for me to write anything bad about this film as it is one of my favourite films ever. I'm not a big fan of Jennifer Lopez but in this film she is brilliantly cast as tough Karen Sisco. I have to admit that I remember watching that film in the cinema almost ten years ago, and when George Clooney took of his shirt I just sat pinned in my chair, my jaw dropped open and I gasped. I guess Clooney is responsible for my sexual awakening. I love the story about this love that is just bound to be painful. The film is full of strange characters such as Steve Zahn as slightly dumb accomplice during the flight, or Dennis Farina as Sisco's dad asking Karen's boyfriend, who is married to someone else, questions about adulterous behaviour. It also has a lot of bizarre moments including one of the robbers shooting himself in the head because he trips on the stairs.

But the whole magic of this films comes together for me in the sequence when Karen and Jack meet at the hotel bar in Detroit and pretend to be Gary and Celeste. Everything in this sequence is just perfect, the music, the lighting, the way the dialogue is intercut with what follows after in the hotel room. There is a beautiful sensuality about the whole sequence, and the following quote is for me the outstanding moment of the film:

"It's like seeing a person you never saw before -- you could be passing on the street -- you look at each other and for a few seconds, there's a kind of recognition. Like you both know something. But then the next moment the person's gone, and it's too late to do anything about it, but you remember it because it was right there and you let it go, and you think, "What if I had stopped and said something?" It might happen only a few times in your life."
If you've had such a moment only once in your life you can't ignore the truth of that.

So, 10 out of 10 rough diamonds.

Credit? Bitch, please.

Surfing through icon communities and snatching bits here and there I just remembered I wanted to blog about the crediting madness that goes on there. Just to make it clear, most of the icons that I use here were not created by me. The one in the Angels and Insects post is the only exception so far, and if I have some time on my hands I will devote it to icon-making because I'm a rather visual person, and I like messing with pictures and colours.

But one thing that I don't understand is the "Oh, I have icons! But if you use them, credit!"-thing going on. First of all, I have no idea from whom and where I've snatched all these things, and I find it a waste of my time and my computer's space to try to keep it in mind. Most things I use are scenes from serials or movies. Those scenes where thought up by a writer, visualized by cameraperson and directer, shot using actors and a team, then aired and screenshot by someone. And then someone comes along, downloads the picture, cuts out a chunk of it, calls it an icon and wants credit for an icon that is really a collaborative effort in which he or she just had the last (and I dare say) easiest part. If I'd want to credit I'd have to credit all the persons involved in creating the picture in the first place.

This might sound rather harsh, but I just had a look at a couple of icons that had an "Don't use as bases!" written underneath, and some of those icons just cried out for a bit of text. So what shall I do, search the picture, make the exact same cut again and put text into it, if I want to? I don't see the point. We are all doing this for fun, to deal a bit further with a fandom that we enjoy. I would see it differently if someone went out, took his or her own photos, uploaded them and made icons from them, because then the whole thing is actually his or her own work. There are also some extremely lovely icons about that were made with a lot of care and work. Credit where credit is due. So, to all the people creating icons out there: you're doing a wonderful job giving me a good laugh or making me squee looking at the icons you made.

Gosh, I should really go to bed, instead of ranting on and on.

Angels and Insects directed by Philip Haas

Angels and Insects is a 1995 adaptation of the novella Morpho Eugenia by A. S. Byatt starring Mark Rylance, Kristin Scott Thomas and Patsy Kensit. Because I've just read the book and we discussed it in class it is a bit difficult to not write about it as an adaptation of the novel. I can't judge how you would like the film if you had not read the book. As an adaptation it works pretty well though. There are no major changes in comparison to the novel, only two things were left out that I missed. The dialogues are mostly word for word as in the novel. So if you don't manage to read the book watching the film gives you a pretty good idea.

I pretty much liked the casting of the characters. I was a bit sceptical about Mark Rylance at first because I had imagined Adamson younger looking. Kristin Scott Thomas as Matty Crompton and Patsy Kensit as Eugenia were brilliant opposites of each other, Matty being rather skinny and darkhaired and very resolute, and Eugenia being blond and soft. The overall look of the film was nice but I had still imagined it more decadent, heavier and richer in colour. I found a lot of scenes too pale (I'm just talking about the colour here). The first scene already looked so much different in my mind from what I saw in the film. I'd have had the surroundings darker and the girls not in those horrible bright dresses but in something more pastel, making them more feminine and desirable and more like a mixture of butterflies and fairies whirling by, as William sees them for the first time. The filmmakers went for a direct copy of the bright butterfly colours but my sense for colours found that rather disturbing.

I won't talk too much about the story as I've already said that there is not that much plot, more ideas and notions and discussions of the clash of tradition and modernity. But I was rather surprised that I found the film not in the least as longish as I found the book when I read it. It's almost two hours but time went by pretty fast.

So, bearing in mind that it is always very hard to watch an adaptation if you have still the pictures of your own imagination in your mind, I say this was a pretty good one, very accurate to the tone and mood of the novel, if not always corresponding with the picture I had in mind.

7 out of 10 moths.

(This time it's moths because that scene completely freaked my out. Uhhhaaa, crawling flapping insects give me the creeps.)

Donnerstag, 1. November 2007

Now, that's what I call efficient.

About ... a year ago I noticed that the soap dispenser in the bathroom was almost empty. So I thought "Well, I gotta buy new soap. Just not today, because today I have other stuff to do." Months came and went and I squeezed the last bit of soap out of that dispenser. I kinda sucked it dry to it's last drop. Some weeks ago the poor thing finally gave up. So last Friday, when I was buying water at the drugstore, I remembered the poor soap dispenser on my washstand and went over to buy some soap. And I decided to buy some simple old-school piece of soap, no fluid soap in a dispenser. My old dispenser has to be remembered properly, I can't just replace it with a new one! So after five minutes of contemplation I chose a piece of soap (milk and honey), paid and went.

This piece of soap has been sitting on the table in my room until earlier today, when I managed to carry it the five metres to the bathroom and unpack it. What had kept me so long, you might ask, from taking it earlier to the bathroom? I don't have a soap dish. Never had one, and the ones in the shop where just ugly and/or too expensive. Maybe I manage to buy one in a year or so. I am afraid that will be one of those things where I'll always go "Oh no, not this month, I don't know how much money I have this month." I guess I'm just closefisted* there. Thank God I'm faster with buying shampoo or shower gel.


* Wow, how many words for German 'geizig' are there? Really hard to pick one here.

Mittwoch, 31. Oktober 2007

The lonely Hunter

Every now and then I realize that I have been alone for quite a long while now. Today is such a day. Usually, if I realize this I ask myself what I actually could do. I mean, I'm so busy with studying and working, I don't have time to go out and meet someone outside that. I've decided not to start anything at work as it always (TM) ends in tragedy and disaster. And as for studying... I remember a blog entry from last year stating how blocked I am, when it comes to actually meeting someone in class. Today we had a revision of that, and the outcome was just the same. Maybe I just have an aversion against scholars.

So, in both my classes I sat rather close to the same guy. For the second class he was a little late and he could easily have sat somewhere else, but he chose to sit on the corner next to me. And throughout class I caught myself moving away from him. I sat on the edge of my chair, as far away from him as I could. I had to remind me not to do that because even I found it slightly embarassing. I don't need to mention that I did not look at him and totally and utterly avoided him. I mean nothing would have happened anyway, but at least he was a nice decent-looking guy, so there was no reason to move off like that. It was like he robbed my brain of the space to think.

I mean... to quote again something from the telly, every person has a certain space around him or her, and you just don't intrude that space unless you ask the person out for dinner afterwards. Okay, the person who wrote that obviously hasn't been on tube or bus in Berlin when the S-Bahn is on strike because to keep a private space there is just impossible. But still, the point is, I don't like if people get to close to me unless they are good friends or about to ask me out.

And although I feel lonely, I am probably unfit for a relationship. I think I'll go back to my cave. See you in ten years!

Sonntag, 28. Oktober 2007

Angels and Insects


Since I have so many novels to read this term, and I'm reading all the time anyway, I thought that I should write down my thoughts on what I read. I tried that before, but somehow I always forgot. Anyways, it will be only a really short review, and I will dare to judge giving up to ten points. Ohhhhh. So today's book:

Angels and Insects by A. S. Byatt
The book consists actually of two novellas that are very loosely linked. The first, Morpho Eugenia, is about a young man, an adventurer and observer of nature, who marries into a rich family. It is also a mosaic of different discourses about religion, nature, creation, evolution and analogies between the human world and nature. This is where the focus is, the plot of the young man can be told in two sentences. The second novella, The Conjugial Angel, is about a group of people who do seances in order to speak with the dead. Religious topics are included here as well, ghost stories, the question how much is real and what do the participants just imagine is discussed. One of the main topics is how long has a widow to mourn for her husband? All her life? Or is it appropriate to marry again? This novella is more a mosaic of different persons and their lives including that of Lord Alfred Tennyson and the background of his poem In Memoriam.

It took me a while to get through the novel, because there is actually not much plot but a lot of notions, ideas, feelings. It still was not a bad read. 6 out of 10 butterflies.

Freitag, 26. Oktober 2007

A little note on my reading habits

No, I don't read five books at the same time. Although I wish I could. At times I just have one book started and read it, and then start the next. I remember someone on the forum having a signature like 'Reading just one book is like eating just one piece of chocolate." But actually I like to focus on one book at a time. It's just that the required reading for classes has overrun me a little. I started the Dickens, when I got accepted for the masters programme. (Why do I always want to spell master with a capital m? Master looks so much better to me.)

So I had to get a couple of books for classes, one being Hamlet (finished), one being Angels and Insects by A.S. Byatt (finished), and Nights at the Circus. Now I've found out that we will discuss Nights at the Circus in February, and Jack Maggs in November, so I started reading that one yesterday. I'll probably also read Great Expectations, if I can get one of the Penguin Popular Editions, because they are related somehow. (Having read either yet, I can't really say anything about it.) I started on Henry James, because it's October and I wanted to read a ghost story, but now I find it so scary, I can hardly read it in the evening. (Did I hear anybody laughing at me?)

Well, and the Auden... I want to read more poetry in general. And I love Auden's poems. So anybody want to do me a favour, give me Whitman, Eliot, Frost, and whomever else you can come up with. Poetry is always good. (Oh! I really want something by Elizabeth Bishop. Gotta update the Amazon Book list.)

OMG. Everyman's Library Pocket Poets. I might develop a habit there.

Donnerstag, 25. Oktober 2007

Oh, go strike yourself!

I blogged a little this afternoon:

Guess what. I am sitting at Berlin Hauptbahnhof at Pizza Hut, I finally have eaten something today, and now, waiting for the train, I've decided to blog about todays' madness of this roaring city before I go home into the quiet of my wonderful village of 75 inhabitants.

It took me more than an hour to get from university to the station. On a normal day it's about half an hour. But if you're taking the freaking bus that has to stop at every station because everyone is taking the bus today, it inevitably takes a little longer. The other half of Berlin (those who refused to take the bus) have apparently decided to use their own cars and further contribute to the cramming of the streets. It is sheer madness out there. I had old people looking at me because I dared to occupy a seat on the bus. Oh, of course I could have stood somewhere perched with my three bags until they weigh me down so much that I am as small as Kylie Minogue.

And anyway, who the hell goes shopping on a day when the traffic system is halfway broken down? I really don't get it. But then on the other hand, I'm trying to go home via train today. Anyway, the most furious thing I saw was a woman banging on the windows of the bus because it didn't wait for her. She must really have been in a hurry. The funniest was trying to get onto a bus with about a hundred other people at the same time. Well, I won that one. Three years of having to take the bus with all the other students finally paid out.

At the station itself things are rather relaxed I tend to think. People sit, eat, drink, wait for their trains. The only difference is the board showing how many trains have been cancelled. But stay tuned for the second part of the madness.

--- and no madness followed. My train was on time, I got home without problems. So... thank you, Deutsche Bahn.

For now.

Oh, BTW, my books arrived. I finally bought the Everyman's Poems Edition of W.H. Auden's poems that I've wanted since the first time I laid eyes on that beautiful book.

Mittwoch, 24. Oktober 2007

You gotta be kiddin' me.

No, I'm not in a bad mood. But I'm horribly tired and I still have to read two chapters of Foucault about the one thing, that I don't have: sex. Kthxbye.

Oh well, it doesn't bother me so much. If it did I'd do something about it, and currently I prefer to leave that part of my life alone. Studying and work don't leave much time for anything else anyway. My classes were fine today because I actually manage to participate. Let me tell you something.

You gotta come a little closer. And listen carefully. I --- am actually saying something in class. And it isn't even stupid. After three years I finally contribute! Isn't that great? (Imagine a big fat Doctor-grin here, when he sees once again how wonderful humans are.) So, studies are fine, apart from the amount of reading this week. I got the topics for the Hamlet-classes, one is one of the films, the other on Ophelia. I'm still thinking about the other class, I'm not so sure what I want to do there yet.

And considering work: you know, guys, I really like you. I'm not too reluctant to sacrifice my time for you and sell things and be nice to people and so on. But honestly: not five days in a regular studying week. And not on Friday at four. So, I'll call you tomorrow and try to explain that to you without the "Bitch, please!"-attitude in my voice that I'm speaking with right now, okay? Okay.

So, that was that. And now the last thing to rant about: Deutsche Bahn. You little bastards on strike, if I can't go home tomorrow I will be really really angry. Thanks for your attention.

Dienstag, 23. Oktober 2007

Lovely leaves

I'm writing poetry. It must be autumn.

Montag, 22. Oktober 2007

Bahn - oh bite me!

Ich wurde gerade von der Nachricht geschockt, dass die Bahn am Donnerstag streiken will. Was wollte ich am Donnerstag tun? Richtig, ich wollte nach Hause fahren. Nungut, ich nehme einen Fernzug, und bin so also nicht auf Regionalbahnen in der altmärkischen Steppe angewiesen. Aber den Berliner Hauptbahnhof erreicht man dummerweise noch nicht per U-Bahn, und die S-Bahn wird als Teil des Regionalverkehrs mit bestreikt. Und wie wir letzten Donnerstag festgestellt haben, fährt die S-Bahn auch Stunden nach Ende des Streiks noch nicht wieder so, dass man halbwegs pünktlich zur Uni kommt.

Mit etwas Kreativität und dem Busnetz kommt man ja auch noch zum Hauptbahnhof. Die Busse werden allerdings hoffnungslos überfüllt sein. Im Notfall hat Berlin auch einen Fernbahnhof, der eine U-Bahnstation in der Nähe hat. Der Ostbahnhof ists leider nicht.

Und ich muss sagen, so langsam fehlt mir das Verständnis für den Streik. Nach letztem Donnerstag bin ich nur noch sauer darüber. Als das Ganze angefangen hat, hatte ich durchaus Verständnis dafür, dass die Lokführer mehr Geld wollen. Jetzt bin ich nur dankbar, dass es gerichtlich verboten ist, den Fernverkehr zu bestreiken. Und falls ich Donnerstag abend in dieser stinkenden Stadt hängen bleiben sollte, folgt hier heiliger Zorn gegen die Bahn und die streikenden Lokführer. Einigt Euch, verdammte Axt, so wie andere erwachsene Menschen auch!

Und ja, ich bin hier egoistisch, verdammt noch eins.

Here comes the weekend...

...and there it goes again. Irgendwie war der Rest dieser Woche alles andere als entspannt und ruhig. 300 verrückte holländische Teenager in der zweiten Show am Donnerstag haben die komplette Belegschaft in den Wahnsinn getrieben, und mich für die nächsten drei Tage erschöpft, an denen ich natürlich arbeiten musste. Von der Uni-Vorbereitung, die liegen geblieben ist, wollen wir gar nicht erst anfangen. Aber naja, zumindest liege ich im Rahmen mit den Texten, die ich lesen muss. Solange ich morgen nicht verschlafe, ist das noch zu schaffen. Solange der Text keine höhere Fremdwörterdichte hat als der davor, that is.

Übrigens, das Smiliefasten geht noch weiter. Mindestens bis Mittwoch, aber Hoppi hat mich mit "Runaway Bra" gerade arg auf die Probe gestellt. In dem Zusammenhang fällt mich auch noch ein, dass hier noch ein paar Listen fehlen. Naja, nicht mehr heute, es ist Sonntag, da soll man ja nicht soviel machen.

Oh, und was ich eigentlich noch sagen wollte, Donnerstag war so der Tag, an dessen Ende ich mir gewünscht hätte, dass mich jemand in den Arm nimmt und mir sagt, dass es alles gar nicht schlimm ist. So schlimm war es. Der Gedanke ist mir dann die letzten paar Tage hinterhergeschlichen wie ein kleiner schwarzer Kater. Es wird dunkel und kalt, und an dieser Art von schwarzem Kater kann man sich leider nicht wärmen.

Mittwoch, 17. Oktober 2007

Gehirnkrampf

Whoa, nach vier Stunden Hamlet hat mein Gehirn vorhin irgendwann den Geist aufgegeben. Also Hamlet an sich ist nicht schlimm. Die Analyse dessen wiederum kann so zwanzig Minuten vor sechs echt anstrengend werden. Da war Schluss mit meinem Kopf.

Bester Spruch des Tages kam ja sowieso wieder von meinem Dozenten. Ich wurde zuerst mistress genannt, dann bird und dann virgin. Und das innerhalb von 5 Minuten. WTF? Zumindest bei virgin habe ich eine Entschuldigung für die leicht sexistische Herangehensweise bekommen. Aber ich habe auch nicht wirklich etwas anderes erwartet bei diesem Professor. Ich versuche mal die Uhr zu stellen, wann die erste erotische Anspielung im Seminar erfolgt. Nunja, nach zwei Tassen Tee und 15 Zentimeter Schal sind meine Gehirnkapazitäten wieder halbwegs brauchbar. Ich mache aber heute trotzdem nichts mehr außer House und Casanova zu Ende zu schaun. Und das verdammte Buch zu lesen.

To be or not to be...

Nachdem ich jetzt mal die Bücherliste eingestellt hab und mir was zum Profil ausgedacht hab, lasse ich mich wohl doch mal fest nieder hier. Da fehlt noch eine Sache: der Link zum alten Blog für vergangene Wahnsinnigkeiten. Labels, Listen und sonstiger Kleinkram werden folgen, sobald ich mal Lust und Zeit habe. Also nicht mehr diese Woche. Ich habs nicht ganz mitbekommen, wie und warum, aber irgendwie habe ich mich freiwillig gemeldet von Donnerstag bis Sonntag zu arbeiten. 7 Shows in 4 Tagen. Und ich hatte gestern schon schlechte Laune, nachdem mich der x-te Schüler genervt hatte.

Und nachdem ich jetzt genug über diesen Teil meines Lebens gejammert habe, auf zum anderen Jammertal.

[...]

Nee, noch keine Beschwerden. Heute gibts Doppelseminar zu Hamlet, und ich habe es tatsächlich gelesen. Ich bin gespannt, ob ich heute mit jemandem im Seminar sitze, den ich kenne.

Dienstag, 16. Oktober 2007

I'm the Master. Naja, bald.

Also, so ein bisschen sind Blogger und ich wirklich noch am Kämpfen. Aber es geht ja nicht alles von heute auf morgen. Meine Bücherliste an der Seite fehlt noch, aber dazu muss ich die Bilder erst bearbeiten, weil man die Größe anscheinend nicht mal eben per Menü einstellen kann. Muss mir also erst noch was ausdenken. Anyways, nachdem mich Horden von Schülern heute in den Wahnsinn treiben wollten, und ich das Rezept für den Maulwurfkuchen nicht finden kann (verdammte Zettelwirtschaft!) und ich einen manischen Plan fürs nächste Jahr habe, den ich unbedingt durchziehen will, poste ich mal eben, was ich eigentlich gestern posten wollte, nämlich meinen ersten Tag als Student im Masterstudiengang.

Ja, macht schon, verlest Euch.
Da will ich mal einen schönen Eintrag schreiben, über meinen ersten Tag als Master-Student, und was ist? Blogigo funktioniert nicht. Das verleitet mich ja fast dazu, den Bloganbieter zu wechseln, aber... ich bin so verdammt faul, und das Umziehen kostet schon etwas Zeit und Mühe. Schreiben wir also mal wieder vor. Wenn ich nicht schon wieder abgelenkt werde, wie jetzt. Ich tippe und gleichzeitig schaue ich YT. Da kann nichts gutes bei rauskommen.

[...]

Ohhh, die Stimme!

Ähem, wo war ich? Ähh ja. Master. Wir fingen ja mit einem Tutorial heute an. Vielleicht 10 Leute, davon 7 Master-Studenten. Wieviele Leute haben die zugelassen? Können nicht viele gewesen sein. Ich fühlte mich so ein bisschen elitär. Und verdammt stark auf dem Präsentierteller, was so gar nicht meins ist. Den anderen ging es aber anscheinend nicht anders, die waren auch alle gehörig nervös.

Nunja, ich wurde etwas sicherer, nachdem ich ein Stück aus James Joyce's Ulysses erkannt habe, obwohl ich das Buch nie gelesen hab. Ich bin also doch nicht komplett dumm. Dennoch bin ich mir nicht sicher, ob ich das wirklich durchziehe. Ich müsste zwei Semester ohne Halbwaisenrente machen. Das ist alles zu schaffen, aber ob es sich wirklich lohnt? Ich weiß noch nicht. Noch dazu ist das die Planung ohne Auslandssemester, dafür aber hoffentlich mit interessanten Sprachpraxis-Modulen. Wir erinnern uns, dass ich mich darüber furchtbar aufgeregt hatte.

Anyway, ich zappe mich jetzt weiter durch die Videos auf YT in denen John Barrowman singt. Macht mich irgendwie glücklich. Und morgen gehts an die Lebensplanung.


Ähm ja, mit Lebensplanung war heute nicht so viel. Naja, ein bisschen. Man kann schließlich auch nicht alles an einem Tag planen.

*renovier* *putz*

Moin, sorry, ich bin noch in Eile, weil am Einrichten. Nachdem Blogigo seit zwei Tagen hemmungslos streikt, hab ich mir gedacht, ziehste vielleicht doch zu Blogger, da kann man auch Videos einbinden und so... Und ich hab es tatsächlich geschafft in zwei Stunden mein Layout in annehmbare Form zu bringen. Jetzt muss ich noch die Bilder aufhängen (später) und fertig.