Mittwoch, 31. Oktober 2007

The lonely Hunter

Every now and then I realize that I have been alone for quite a long while now. Today is such a day. Usually, if I realize this I ask myself what I actually could do. I mean, I'm so busy with studying and working, I don't have time to go out and meet someone outside that. I've decided not to start anything at work as it always (TM) ends in tragedy and disaster. And as for studying... I remember a blog entry from last year stating how blocked I am, when it comes to actually meeting someone in class. Today we had a revision of that, and the outcome was just the same. Maybe I just have an aversion against scholars.

So, in both my classes I sat rather close to the same guy. For the second class he was a little late and he could easily have sat somewhere else, but he chose to sit on the corner next to me. And throughout class I caught myself moving away from him. I sat on the edge of my chair, as far away from him as I could. I had to remind me not to do that because even I found it slightly embarassing. I don't need to mention that I did not look at him and totally and utterly avoided him. I mean nothing would have happened anyway, but at least he was a nice decent-looking guy, so there was no reason to move off like that. It was like he robbed my brain of the space to think.

I mean... to quote again something from the telly, every person has a certain space around him or her, and you just don't intrude that space unless you ask the person out for dinner afterwards. Okay, the person who wrote that obviously hasn't been on tube or bus in Berlin when the S-Bahn is on strike because to keep a private space there is just impossible. But still, the point is, I don't like if people get to close to me unless they are good friends or about to ask me out.

And although I feel lonely, I am probably unfit for a relationship. I think I'll go back to my cave. See you in ten years!