Sonntag, 30. Dezember 2007

The same procedure as every year, James!

Today would be a good day to talk about what the last year has brought me and what I hope the next will bring. Actually I'm totally tired and my feet hurt like hell because I decided to wear new shoes at work today, but I better try none the less or I won't get it over with this year.

BTW is it strange if I watch Le Pacte de Loups on the telly, a girl gets killed horribly and I pity the cute dog that had to watch it all? I think I saw too many people today.

So, 2007 is almost over. And again it has been a pretty tough year. I got my BA, the grade being what I had wanted. But it all was so overshadowed by all the uncertainty of what would come after the BA that I couldn't enjoy any of it. My mother's fretting didn't help to calm my own fears. Then there is the negative influence of the people I share this flat with. Too much unrest, too many things to worry about, and not much consideration for my things, my feelings and my moods have led me to the conclusion that I am really not fit for sharing a flat. I suspected it before but I have realized that I really am a hermit. Add to this the stress-related health problems and you have already half of my year.

The other half at least was made up of nicer things. My family have been despite the fretting a constant source of support for me, and going home has at least given me some days of complete peace and quiet and much-needed rest. My friends, few that I have, have helped me out and let me know that I not always have to carry the weight of life all alone. And even if there are things that they can't help me with, at least I can chew their ears off whining about all the hardships that I suffer. I got to enjoy studying again; after that horrible time writing my thesis the Masters Programme seems well worth the work and the money that I spend on it. And I have rediscovered my love for science fiction and wonderful TV serials that have managed in a lovely way to draw my thoughts away from all the problems that bother me.

So half good and half bad... well it could have been worse. 2008 is a leap year, a year of change. I wonder how big a change it will be. I yearn for some changes, but I am desperately afraid of a change like the one that 2000 brought. No change is wholly good or bad I think; there are two sides to everything. I will try to make some changes myself. I want to do some kind of sports again which helps me very much to put up with the stress. Doing Kung Fu again would be best, I think. I want to move out of this place and into my own flat again. I've had enough of sharing the fridge and doing everyone's dishes. And I want to find a job that is closer to what I am studying. If I find something suitable I might even quit studying altogether.

But these are just thoughts and not even plans. My plans hardly ever work out, so I have given up making any solid ones. And I'll see what the new year will bring.

You might wonder that I have left out one thing: a love life. Well, mine has been nonexistent for the past year, and I actually don't expect many changes in that. I already thought last year that I wouldn't spend 2007 all alone, and I was wrong. So this time, I will not even think about it, thankyouverymuch.