Donnerstag, 31. Januar 2008

The pitfalls of fashion industry or: I hate shopping.

Because of the fancy party I'm going to tomorrow, my mom ordered me to go and buy some decent clothes. So, last night I went with M. because last time it worked out pretty well and we found a bunch of nice clothes. This time however it was pure disaster. (Not because of M.) I wanted a nice girlyish skirt and maybe a blouse, or a lovely dress, and I got none of these, basically because I set up two rules (which evolved into four rules after a while): no black, no grey, no baby pink, no baby blue. All of these make me look pale, stupid and not-there, so I don't wear them. And I have enough black clothes.

We went through every gorram shop in the mall, and things either had the darkest colours on this planet or the brightest most hideous colours that make your eyes hurt. Just as some piece of advice to the fashion people: grey, dark green, dark purple and black really really make things much darker in winter. Besides I can't go to a birthday party in any of these colours. So why dont you just have some skirts in a nice shade of red or brown or, if you want to be daring, in some light yellow? It will be spring soon after all, so be a bit more daring. Second advice: if you do make dresses with wide flowing skirts that reach the floor, or even cute shorter dresses then don't use any of those hippie-I-gotta-cram-as-much-oranments-onto-it-as-possible-fabrics, that ruin a beautiful dress with a horrible pattern and even more horrible colours. Just one colour and some cute details is more than enough, everything else distracts the person seeing you from looking into your eyes, and makes you look like a 70s wallpaper. Thirdly: it's winter for Pete's sake! Put sleeves on your dresses! Better luck next year then.

And what do I learn out of this? Firstly I'll have too improvise something out of my old wardrobe. Secondly I'll have to imitate Giselle and make clothes out of my curtains.

[...]

Actually my curtains have the right colour to go as a nice dress over my red blouse. Then again, I need my curtains. But, at least I found some nice shoes. I saw them, I tried them on, I bought them. And they are cute as can be. M. observed at that point that I am more a hunter than a gatherer when it comes to shopping.

Dienstag, 29. Januar 2008

Turning panic to pain takes more than taking just one letter away.

It takes an hour of Kung Fu training. As I expected *before* I panicked it was really good. People were nice, I found the place pretty well, and I got through the hour of training. But I don't think I can do much more than one hour at the moment.

The best thing was my start into the session because it was so me. We played some foot-and-hands-badminton, kicking a shuttlecock around, the thing flies in my direction, I aim, miss impressively, gravity does its work and I find myself on the floor. I know I tried to hit it just with one leg but a part of me must have thought I can fly. Everyone goes like "OMGTHATMUSTHURT", but I get up, laugh and go on. I mean, this could have ended pretty ugly, but it didn't so I just laughed. I am tempted to take a pillow to class tomorrow though, because I landed really hard on the left side of my butt, and that hurts pretty bad.

So, next training next week, and then lets see how expensive joining and everything is, and from when on I can train on Fridays and Wednesdays. The best thing is the fitness thing though. That's the reason I want to got to Tuesday training until I can go to the other sessions. And I so want to go on Wednesdays because then I get to learn Eskrima. And now I'll get back to watching Jane Eyre.

Panic! Paaaniiiic!

In about two hours I gotta leave for the Kung Fu studio for (hopefully) m first class in about three years. And now I'm starting to panic. Will I find it? Will people be nice? Will I even survive the first 5 minutes? What's the teacher going to be like? Will he even agree to let me join the Tuesday class until I can join the Wednesday or Friday classes? I'll have to take part in the beginner's classes for a while to re-learn all the stuff that I have forgotten. Ohhhh, I am so nervous.

Until now I've kept my mind busy with work. I started to prepare my two presentations next week which will both be only five minutes long so.. haha. I even found a shortcut for the Monday thing on Jekyll and Hyde. I won't be able to make it to the library, I just dont have the time, so I will focus on the history of repesentation instead because it is something I can research on the internet. The professor won't like it, but I'll just have to excuse it with time constraints.

So... what am I going to read now? Mwah. *scared*

Montag, 28. Januar 2008

Reality continues to ruin my life.

I am turning into Rodney McKay. After three years without sports and with a lot of stress instead, I feel like falling apart when I have the slightest cold. Luckily I feel pretty good today though. Need to do sports again. Yesterday really wasn't that funny, but 10 hours of sleep last night made me feel much better.

So today... I need to go and buy some really fancy clothing for the party on Friday. And I need shoes. I hate buying shoes.

Sonntag, 27. Januar 2008

Sleepy Sunday

Hey, my flatmates actually took that little note to themselves serious and cleaned. I am ... amazed!

I actually figured out, why I have been feeling like crap the last couple of days. I have a slight cold, one of those that does not really break out, so I have hardly any symptoms, I just feel like crap. Last night I started sneezing like mad and this morning I didn't feel too hot either, but now after an afternoon of watching First Knight sleeping all the way through First Knight I feel better. Aaaand: my brother brought me some food from mom. The first decent food I've had in a week. My mom has to teach me how to make that certain salad, and I'll have to get up my lazy arse and actually make some decent food for myself when I'm here.

And now I'll turn to Ethan Hawke as Hamlet and watch a film for class.

Freitag, 25. Januar 2008

You gotta be kiddin me!

May I just? Everyone out there with sensitive eardrums, please cover your ears right now. Thank you.

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDIN ME!!!

There is a note on the microwave saying "Please clean before next use" which is something I'm highly in favour of. But if these thickhead excuses for flatmates of mine put this thing up not as a little reminder for themselves but for me, I am going to plaster the whole kitchen with little notes SAYING JUST THE SAME THING!!! You really are Misses Thick-Thick-Thickety-Thickface from Thicktown, Thickania! And so are your dads!

Thank you for your attention.

Mittwoch, 23. Januar 2008

Ache! Acheacheache!

Well, there you see where my determination goes. I decided not to go to Kung Fu practice because I know it's not a good idea to arrive in the middle of class. Apart frm that I still have to read 90 pages of Arthur and George for tomorrow, so it would have turned out a bit stressful. In intend (yeah, again) to go next Tuesday. Then I can be on time and discuss with the Sihing whether it's useful at all to attend Kuen training even I can't do much more until the semester break. But I *need* to do something. I did about 20 minutes workout yesterday, just some basic warm-up stuff and I ache. I had noticed the flabbiness of what had been muscles until a year ago, but it is actually worse than I imagined. And thinking about all this I actually become very self-conscious and we know where that leads. So, I need to stop thinking and worrying and just go and do it.

Something completely different: Heath Ledger has died. If an actor that you fangirled since you were a teenager and who is about your age suddenly dies it leaves you with a very strange feeling. I mean, there is this whole aspect of a public figure that you assume to know in some way, something that despite being a fan I always rejected. I don't know any of the actors that I am a fan of. I only knew the on-camera person. And that person showed just no hint of any suicidal tendencies in my opinion. And I can't imagine why on earth you would do something as self-destructive as drugs (in whatever way) if you have a career, a family and a child. That should give you enough of an anchor for this life. But then again, that is only my view on the senselessness and pointlessness of our existence. And I only have this one perspective. How bad must you feel, if you think this is the only way out? How bad must it be for someone? It makes it just more tragic and sad.

Dienstag, 22. Januar 2008

Even darker still.

I didn't like the brown background so now I've ended up changing the colour scheme of the blog so it fits with the header. Let's see, how long it will stay like that. Probably until I pick a header that is not blueish.

My day was very uneventful. It was very quiet and relaxed. I even worked out for half an hour. And I am very determined to go to the Kung Fu school after classes tomorrow and at least have a look at the school and so on. Last week I just sat on my arse all evening and I thought "Wow I should have gone check out that school". So let's see how far my determination takes me tomorrow.

And finally I have managed to update the book list. Two days before I have to finish the book that I added.

Dark huhhhhhh.

I wondered a while ago "Where did all those lovely icons go that I saved?" Now I know: they went into the wrong folder.

I just changed the colours here a little, to have the header stand out a bit better. Darker Background for a really dark (and wonderful) picture. And now I should go back to reading the rest of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. Only 30 more pages to go.

Montag, 21. Januar 2008

"I took a stroll on the old long walk of a day -I-ay-I-ay ..."

I've just made me some dinner which involved melting some really good Raclette cheese in the microwave, and suddenly everyone closes their doors. Gosh if I'd known I'd have done that earlier. For today I have gone over to ignore my flatmates, mostly because I don't have anything to say to them except "STFU!" and "Clean the bloody kitchen!" and I'm not really interested in what they might have to say. Their coldness has made me wonder somewhat if they are reading my blog and its obvious rants. If yes, dear flatmates, how about you stop stalking me and get a life? Yours sincerly.

But no, I don't think so. So, my general attitude towards these things is "You're not worth my attention or my anger".

BTW, I've rediscovered some nice cheery music. PS I love you used a bunch of Irish-American punk songs, so I got the soundtrack and some other stuff, and after a couple of hours listening to those songs you tend to think "Kiss me arse!" and enjoy yourself. I had the idea to summarize the stuff that we talk about in classes, but as I forgot my pen today it was kinda hard impossible to take notes, so maybe I'll start with this thing on Wednesday when we discuss Cultural Materialism in the Hamlet class. And now, please excuse me while I turn to writing and drinking my Chardonnay.

Oh, I almost forgot the bands: Flogging Molly and Steve Earle kinda stand out.

Der ultimative Anti-Erkältungstrank

Für eine eizelne Dame Christian Bale als Icon und die Rezeptur für den ultimativen Vitamintrank, der garantiert jede Bazille wegfegt. Vielleicht liegts aber auch nur am Schnaps, dass man sich nach dem Genuss des Dings besser fühlt.

Man nehme eine Zitrone, eine Orange und eine Grapefruit, presse die drei Früchte aus, kippe den Saft zusammen und erhitze das ganze. Dazu kommt Honig zum süßen, je nachdem wieviel man halt will, und ein guter Schuss Schnaps. Mama nimmt Doppelkorn, ich hatte letztens nur Rum in der Küche rumstehn. (Fragt nicht.) Das ganze schön heiß machen, und dann so schnell wie möglich in kleinen Schlucken hinter kippen. Danach gut einpacken und --- schwitzen.

Und ja, ich wette man kann auch Ingwer reintun.

Sonntag, 20. Januar 2008

"So now, alone or not, you've gotta walk ahead."

We picked a new flatmate today, and guess what, we didn't go for the girl that I liked. Of course not. I had hoped to even the odds a little in this place and restore the balance a bit. The other two actually do what they want without caring about anybody else but themselves. Their main argument against the girl I liked was that she might turn out bitchy and they didn' want that. What they meant was they didn't want anybody criticizing them because they might have to think about their behaviour then. They even might have to change it. And we can't have that, no no no no no.

So I started to think. First of all I can't get rid of the feeling they teamed up against me in this. They deny they did when I brought that question up, but seriously, whose judgement would you rely on, your best friend's or your freakish flatmate? And if this happens again I don't know how to go on living here. Second, they made me feel like a freak. No, that isn't the right word. I know I am a freak, and I'm very fine with that. I am who I am. But they made me feel like an outsider. The people I inevitably spend a lot of time with because we share a flat behave towards me like I am insane. Not just a freak, but somebody who's tastes and opinions are completely ridiculous. And they don't even care. And that is just not good for me. Third I felt like the biggest idiot on the planet because I even thought that I'd stand a chance against them in this one. And I felt even more stupid for not standing up to them more often and letting them know how hard they are to live with. They are a constant pain in the ass and because I behave like a grown-up and don't make a fuss, they behave even more pain-in-the-ass-ish. I don't think I want to put up with this much longer, but still I'm reluctant to spend all the money that moving into a place of my own will take.

So after this encounter with the darker side of people, the one that excludes others, ridicules ugly people and drowns kittens, I really needed a blast of sugar. I needed a confirmation that mankind at least is able to think up romantic storys and meaningful relationships. I first watched Enchanted, but I realized I wanted more. So I went to the movies (I just had to get out of here anyway) and watched "P.S. I love You". What a lovely film. Just the right sort of thing for my mood. Gerard Butler was lovely, the story was so sweet and deep... the film somehow has to go with Lovesong for Bobby Long, In her shoes, and Elizabethtown. It was sad and funny at the same time and sometimes I laughed while I had still tears in my eyes. 8 out of 10 thrown shoes for this lovely cry-your-heart-out-and-feel-good movie.

Acutally I'm wondering about watching another film now. In her Shoes, for some more Irsih songs The Matchmaker? Hmmm.

"... cleaning crud up in the kitchen ..."

I just spent an hour cleaning the freakin' kitchen. Now I'm so ready for an overdose of squee. But no cinema is showing Enchanted this time of the afternoon.

Need squee-surrogate. Meh.

Teh Squeee!

I just finished my day (11 hours at work - my feet are killing me) with watching Stargate Atlantis episode Quarantine. And now I'm horribly awake due to repeated squeeing because the scenes in the infirmary were so cute. I mean, it was textbook romance, but still it was so cute. *ship*

BTW, Shep must have really panicked that Teyla might still go into labour if he climbs out of the window of the tower. ;) Rodney's part of the story was rather sad. I guess it was his selfishness that pushed Katie away. He just thought of himself, and did not manage to say the right things at the right time. (Not his strength anyway, apart from when he's saving the day.)

And who saved the day this time? Radek! :D

More tomorrow, and then maybe even coherent. I have the feeling that half my brain is already asleep.

Freitag, 18. Januar 2008

Teh sex!

So... Torchwood's back! And every girl with an ounce of blood in her veins has probably fallen for James "Did I mention I'm armed?" Marsters and his sexy walk, wickedness, and weapons wielding. Oh yeah, that was a good start into season two and I'm curious for more.

Apart from that my day was not worth mentioning. Captain John kinda topped it off.

Donnerstag, 17. Januar 2008

How does she knooooooow

Today was long and annoying and full of *pause* condescending people. I hate it if people patronize me. Happened one time too often today. Apart from that my flatmates behaved even more stupid today than usual. And I'm seriously trying not to work myself into a long rant about wasting gas and by that my hard-earned money. So today I have wanted to move out of this place even more than usual and it is not easy to interview people who want to move in if all you want to do is get away from this place.

And yes, that Rodney icon is there on purpose, firstly because people were extremely annoying today and secondly because I share Rodney's behaviour towards people who are downright stupid. And I don't care what they think about me. Okay, if I didn't it wouldn't annoy me so much I guess. But it's two very different things if I say about me I don't go out very much, or if my flatmate says about me that I don't go out. First of all, I don't go out with the people I live here with, because I honestly have seen enough of them and what they consider a good party. Sp how should they know if I go out or not? Secondly I can't even fit going to Kung Fu classes into my schedule, why should I try to fit going out in? Really there are more important things. Thirdly I have come to consider it an utter waste of money in the most cases. There are exceptions, like going to the movies, or to one of the lovely cocktail bars. Or to cut it short, I've just lost interest in clubbing, and good riddance it is.

Oh well, back to the happy place. Somebody managed to post the link to 'That's how you know' from Enchanted on Youtube, I watched it in the morning when I was already in the mood to yell at somebody and it made me laugh. And smile. In the morning when I had not had my coffee yet. Wheeee! I've watched it twelve times till now and I still smile, though not for very long. But I should see the film; I guess that would set me singing and dancing for 3 days. Another happy thing, I did my presentation today and it went with the usual interuptions by the professor but apart from that very well. And I had an idea for my paper. Really something to work upon. Proper scholarly background but writing about contemporary film. Good thing.

Mittwoch, 16. Januar 2008

Dirty is hot!

Well, will you look at this? The "Dirty is hot"--- well, I don't want to call it a disease because actually it is nothing negative and yet it is contagious so--- whatever it is, it's spreading. Remember the 'Dirty is Hot' blog header of a year ago with the wonderful scruffy Norrington carrying a shovel to bury the terrible year 2006? If not, go there.

Anyways, I'm just here actually to post the Dirty is Hot-revival icon, and to state that I have managed to do all of the above (or in this case below) mentioned things. Read, researched, reposted ideas, freewrote, snagged icons. Now a bit of TV and my bed. Yay.

Dienstag, 15. Januar 2008

Do you sleep on your tummy? No? May I?

I am trying to figure out what sensible things I could do for the rest of the day, but I fail to come up with much. I could read the next book for class. I just finished the presentation and I don't want to bother with it anymore. No use in that anyways, as the professor will cut me off and talk for most of the time anyway. I just messe about a little with the layout of the other blog. I'll go icon-snatching, I think. And I'll maybe transfer my ideas that are stored on the laptop to the blog. And read some stuff online, and do some writing and ...

Yeah, exactly. There is actually so much that I could do that I don't know really what to start with.

Evaluating people is really not my strength.

Having said that it maybe becomes understandable why I don't like doing interviews for renting out the vacant room of our flat. I tend to judge a person pretty early on in a conversation, and if there is a bad feeling then there is not much the person can do. And I get a little suspicious when things seem to go terribly easy.

About two hours ago I went online and declared that we are looking for a new flatmate. Half an hour later a girl rang asking if the room was still free. She came here another half an hour later and stayed until about ten minutes ago. She seems nice enough, she really wants to live around this area, so this place is perfect, she's got a job and intends to stay for quite a while in Berlin, she can pay the deposit all at once and she'd like to move in as fast as possible.

Whoa. She really should meet the others at the weekend.

Montag, 14. Januar 2008

It *is* a Monday again!

So to start with the bad news, we have to find a new flatmate. Again. E. is going to move out and leave us hanging.

I mean, this is not the end of the world but it sure does suck. The whole search is going to start again, and I remember last time that I thought this was not going to be too difficult and how frustrated I was when it all got pretty difficult. And we were pretty lucky with E. actually. Oh well.

I think I'll just go back to bed and leave this Monday to bother himself.

The sadness is mine

My beautiful weekend at home has come to an end now, and I am sufficiently depressed. I'm going back tomorrow, but one the bright side... no, there is actually not much of a brightside in winter in Berlin. It's cold, dark, and grey even at noon when the sun shines. Depressing.

Anyway, at least work for school is on its way. The presentation needs reworking, but the handout is finished. And I created the private blog for writing stuff. I actually created it right after posting the last entry because I had an idea for a name for it. And as I'm not the only one creating online blogs which nobody can read but the author I guess I'll stick with it. *g* So...

So.

Samstag, 12. Januar 2008

Ready for take-off.

I was just pondering the idea to create a second blog for... let's say more work-in-progress things. I'm trying to organize my thoughts about the stuff I work my way through a bit. I started with some research today, and I don't have any book around to take handwritten notes. Then again, I have a horrible handwriting, so if I take handwritten notes there is a possible danger of not being able to read anything that I write down. Apart from that my typing speed copes a bit better with my thinking speed than my writing speed. Handwriting longer things becomes sometimes pretty frustrating for me, which is the reason why all my diary writing has turned into blogging.

The thing is, this blog would be visible for no one except me. And what is the use of blogging on the internet, if no one is able to see it? That's a bit like the tree in the forest. Does it matter if it falls if nobody is there to witness it? So... any thoughts and comments? I'm just trying to figure out if there is any use of a non-public blog to write down ideas and such... or do the good old paper notes do the job?

Freitag, 11. Januar 2008

Inspiration. Shiny!

So, I took a walk today, pondering the question what I was gonna do about my paper. The one for which I don't have a topic yet, and for which our professor suggested we could do some fictional writing instead the usual academic stuff. This has been going through my mind since she mentioned it. I really hate to spend an incredible amount of time writing something that eventually will earn me a grade and then no one's ever going to read it again. Academic writing is pretty sucky as such. Writing my BA thesis was hell because I knew it would be read and then forgotten. Apart from that I've wanted to do some fictional writing for some time now but it is a bit hard to fit in with work and classes. So here I have the opportunity to do some fictional writing even for class. The walk today cleared my head in so far that I decided that I am going to try it. I have a basic idea, I'll have to do quite a bit of research, but I'm set. And in the end it just came down to the question "What do you want to do?" Once that was settled the idea was suddenly there.

I do have a backup-plan, mind you. I don't like working just into the blue. But I think I'll go through with this. It is what I want.

Home, sweet home.

So, today I am home again. And I start to feel like a whole person again, even if it is just for three days. Anyways, I have only reposts today, one from New Years Day, when I sat for two hours in the kitchen, drinking coffee and watching Stargate Atlantis because I had that on the computer, and one from this afternoon including the review for "English Passengers" by Matthew Kneale:

01.01.08

It is strange what you realize when you watch Stargate Atlantis. Or better what I realize. I tend to think about what kind of person I would be in that universe. And then I regret that this univere isn't real because maybe I would do something great, something that makes a difference there. In this real world it seems impossible. But it has prompted me to think about what kind of difference I could make here, what else I could learn to do something sensible and useful here. I haven't come up with an answer to that yet. I mean what meaningful thing is there to do, if you are not a scientist, and the only thing that you really enjoy spending your time and energy on is reading books and watching films and TV series? I don't even dare mentioning the thought that writing or being involved in making these serials might be the answer because that idea seems so far out. And it is some pretty heavy thinking on the morning... well noon of New Year's Day, drinking coffee and having a hangover and wondering whether the rather not that well start into this year is to be seen as an omen.

10.01.08

I have 44 minutes of battery power left, and as I somehow can't just spend all the time reading, let's use them for writing. First of all, the toilets at Berlin Ostbahhof are some puzzle to confound, to quote an aboriginee character from "English Passengers". Second of all, I'm still mystified by the fact that Polish train waggons have window seats without windows. I got one with a lot of window this time, though, but I still find it funny.

So something completely different: the short review of English Passengers.

English Passengers by Matthew Kneale is yet another retro-Victorian novel, and then again it isn't. First of all it differs in that it has a multi-perspective narration. The narrator shifts and changes, sometimes we have letters and their responses and sometimes accounts of settlers, convicts, or aboriginals. There remain four main story-tellers, though. There is Captain Illiam Quillian Kewley, a Manxman, who stumbles into journeying with three Englishmen to the other end of the world to find the Garden of Eden. Reverend Wilson and Dr. Potter are two of these Englishmen who already during the journey manage to bicker at each other and to cause an endless struggle on board of the ship between religion and science. And there is Peevay, whose story begins thirty-seven years earlier when his aboriginal mother is raped by his white father, a convict escaped to a small island off the coast of Tasmania, or back then still Van Diemen's Land. He tells the story of the settling of Tasmania, the near-extinction of all aboriginals of the island, and his fight to gain his mother's love.

It is impossible to put all the different aspects of the book into such a short summary, and it wouldn't do the book justice. Matthew Kneale succeeds in retelling the history of the settling on Tasmania and touches upon British colonialism, scientific discourse, racist theories, theology, the genocide of the indigenous people, but also their view of things, their way of living and the changes that the English in their arrogance imposed upon their lives. It also adresses the convict colonies and the dominant practices of bettering their inmates. Reading the accounts of the English characters of the book one repeatedly realizes that they really got it all wrong. Englishness is associated with arrogance, narcicism, stupidity and madness. And the wonderful and extremely funny narrative of Captain Kewley that glues the bits and pieces of the story together is just a joy to read. And he so reminded me of Malcolm Reynolds. ;-)

8 of 10 swineys

Donnerstag, 10. Januar 2008

Did I mention how much I like Ferris wheels?

So, today was Hamlet day (again) and our discussion came at some point to the word procreation (again). I still find Lacan's reading of Hamlet highly... well horrifying is the right word I guess. And I suddenly turned out to be an expert on feminism, just because I knew the difference between feminism, women's studies and gender studies. And I am as unfeministic as a woman can get, and yet I suddenly felt I was head of the feministic movement of the class. Maybe the other girls just didn't want to piss off the professor who may say that feminism has caused some great achievements and opened up new ways of thinking, but who after all still perpetuates a rather misogynist discourse. Ecriture feminine --- bah, I find it insulting to call a certain way of writing feminine, especially when adding that one of the finest examples is a chapter of Ulysses by James Joyce. I didn't voice my opinion as clear in class, but I was on the verge. Well, I'm already bracing myself for my presentation on a feminist reading of Ophelia next week.

Something more agreeable: I thought "Well, I might go to a DVD shop today and check how much they want for a SGA Season now, because it is after Christmas, and prices are dropping a bit, and I have some money left for sure, and I so much would like to have one..." I went into the shop, went to the shelf, found Season 1, saw it was slightly cheaper than before Christmas --- and bought it. Hehe.

And tomorrow I will think about if "Hamlet in Modern Popular Television" might be a suitable topic for a term paper, or if I will deal with it in an extensive blog entry. I got examples aplenty. I just have to make some sense of them.

Mittwoch, 9. Januar 2008

We die only once - and for such a long time.

I just tried to finish off my day by watching A Love Song for Bobby Long and I have to state again, how much I love this film. I felt like watching a film where a character actually gets up and takes her life in her hand and does something, because to tell you the truth, I haven't been doing much lately. I mean, I got my work for classes tomorrow and next week done, and I read, and I will read some more because I have to finish up the book until Thursday, but still... I haven't managed anything for my papers.

I mean one of the papers is a problem in itself because there is the chance to do some fictional writing instead of the usual analytic academic stuff that no one will ever read again and that you put so much work into and that makes me feel depressed because I work so hard for it when it all just seems to be so useless. But actually telling a story would be something different. If I managed for once to sit down and relax und come up with a story and write. I know that I can, I've already written stuff where I thought "Wow, this is really not bad" when I found it months later and read it again. But well. And thinking of this I also thought about what I want to do after school because it is a question that won't go away and that sometimes when I'm not exactly busy with everyday life just comes in through the back door to sit on my desk, staring at me in this accusing way because I've had so much time to think about it and still don't have an answer.

Not to mislead you, my day wasn't all bad. But still I feel the need to get up and do something and I still don't manage to do it. It is frustrating.


Dienstag, 8. Januar 2008

Das Schicksal is'n Knackfrosch.


This is the result of a nice little thing found on Gamina's blog: Imagine you are about to found a band. You need a band name, an album cover and an album title. Go to a random Wikipedia article for a band name; take the last four words of the last quote as an album title; and take a random page at Flickr as an album cover. And here we are: To Be A Saint, the brilliant debut album by newcomer band Todd Strikes Out.

Today's title is courtesy of Centi who just managed to nail it.

Sonntag, 6. Januar 2008

Green Hell Blog Tour 11th Edition



Green Hell Blog Tour Vol. 11


Ein Buch. Ein Finger. Ein Wort. Ein Schicksal

Man nehme ein Wörterbuch seiner Wahl, schlage eine Seite auf, suche ein Wort und blogge darüber. Und dann haben wir den Salat.

So. Nachdem wir uns über ein Thema einig sind, habe ich schonmal ein minimales Problem. Ich hab keinen Duden. Ich habe ein Oxford Advanced Dictionary, dass jetzt herhalten muss. Und das erste Wort, dass ich erwische ist--- end.

Ende? Ich will nicht über Ende bloggen. Dann wärn wir wieder beim Ende des Jahres und darüber hab ich erst gebloggt. Nee. Zweiter Versuch: Injunction. Oh nö. Gamina kriegt flauschige Pilze mit lustiger Etymologie und ich kriege die einstweilige Verfügung? Wobei, daraus könnte man was machen, da es durchaus Menschen gibt, die ich mir damit vom Hals halten könnte. Noch besser: ich könnte gewisse Menschen von der Küche fernhalten, da sie eine ernstzunehmende Gefahr für mein Geschirr darstellen. Hmmmm. Ich gönne mir jetzt trotzdem einen dritten Versuch.

Sideline: an activity done in addition to one's main work, esp in order to earn extra money. Der Nebenjob also. In meinem Fall ist der der einzige Job, der Geld bringt, denn fürs Studium wird man ja leider nicht bezahlt. Ein Umstand, den ich in höchstem Maße unbefriedigend finde. Wie soll ich denn eines der vielen unbezahlten Praktikas in dieser Stadt machen, wenn meine Hauptbeschäftigung kein Geld einbringt und mein Nebenjob den Rest meiner Zeit verschlingt? Ich finde, dass ist ein ernstzunehmender Missstand in unserem System. Ja. Ich muss allerdings sagen, dass ich meinen Nebenjob recht gern mag. Er ist selten langweilig, die Shows sind gut, die Kollegen nett und man macht sich eher selten tot. Wenn es mal stressig ist, dann auf annehmbare Weise. Ich ernte manchmal mitleidige Blicke von Gästen, und denke dann "Ich wette, ihr musstet viel dümmeren Scheiß machen als ne Brezel hochhalten um euer Studium zu finanzieren", während ich strahlend lächel und ihnen mitteile, wo das Klo ist, weil die meisten Menschen unfähig sind Piktogramme zu interpretieren.

Und ich versuche immer noch herauszufinden, ob es irgendwo ein Blog für Theatermitarbeiter gibt. Gäste sind genauso dusslig wie der Rest der Menschheit, wenn er/sie aus dem Haus geht, ob sie nun im Bücherladen stehen oder beim McDonalds vor der Theke.

Vor und nach mir sind zwei der vielen Nummern-Arwens dran, (Wah! Ich bin umzingelt!) deren alten Nick ich aber mal verwende: Nach mir Milui, vor mir AnaDunari.

This is not helping.

Just in the moment when I need the forum's help to decide what I want to watch tonight, the forum is down. Not helping. I just watched Dances With Wolves and it is kind of difficult to pick something after seeing this film. I guess I'll just eat something and decide then.

The key to success is compress not diffuse.

I just have to state that Be all my sins remembered is a damn good episode. The ending just completely blew me away. And if anyone hasn't seen it yet, I recommend you don't read on because that could really spoil it.

That outfit! I am allowed to do that, I am a girl. ;) And then Sheps voice going all squeaky talking to Larrin? How cute! And Ronon and Teyla, again, so cute! I'm sorry, I kinda just remember the squeeing moments right now. I also loved Carter telling Ellis of, and FRAN, and is there anything about it I didn't like? Well, Shep and Teyla, but that was probably intended. Well, we'll see where that goes. The battle was brilliant, but at times I just thought "Why the hell are Rodney and the others staying on the planet? Do they have to stay there?" I found the cut Wraith-negotiation kinda puzzling. I just don't know, maybe they didn't want to have another haggling-explaining scene and decided to just cut it short. It definitely worked because it stepped up the pace, but it felt a bit puzzling. But overall it was just a very good episode. (After that ending it is very hard to say something else.)

So, sorry, this is all very incoherent, but actually my brain got fried today and I'd like to go to sleep but The Girl In The Pink Room is watching TV so loudly that I can hear it. So I guess I'll just do the same.

Ice! Ice?

My day was long and painful, full of taking bottles out, putting bottles back in, taking bottles back, handing bottles out and getting new bottles again. And not one of them was a lovely bottle of chardonnay just for myself. *pouts* Walking home turned a little into sliding home. We had ice rain during the day, and all the sidewalks look very shiny --- and can break your neck. Not mine fortunately but I walked very slow. And now I'm home and I discover that the forum doesn't work. Well, I already feared the internet in general wouldn't work, because they always cut it on the 5th or 6th if The Girl In The Pink Room doesn' pay the bill. But the rest of the web is still here luckily.

And to end with something positive: Yesterday I accidently bent my key in the lock. (No, that is not the positive thing.) Today I got it fixed, so I ask the guy at the shop, how much I owe him, and he says "Just a smile." Awwww.

Freitag, 4. Januar 2008

Sleep is evil.

Well, I seriously screwed up this day. I slept until two o'clock which means that everything that I had planned to do today has gone out of the window. Well, almost everything. I managed to go to the bakery and I carried the second part of the Foucault text from my couch to the desk. Yeah. And I did the bit of sport that I intend to start my days with now. I wonder how long I will manage to do this.

I also watched the last episode of SGA that I hadn't seen yet, which was Progeny. I didn't manage to do any of the writing or reading that I intended to do. And I decided to leave cleaning the dishes to the person who actually has used it. And in 20 minutes I will be off to work. I so hope for the shop. Although bar means tips and maybe I will be willing to cough up the 12 euros for that fancy little agenda that I've been stalking around for a couple of weeks now.

So, a lot of uninteresting thoughts today. One interesting was the discovery that if I google my real name, nothing comes up. The decision to use pseudonyms on the internet has worked quite well; at least there is nothing out there to find for the general googling person. Nice.

Donnerstag, 3. Januar 2008

Well, I like to close my eyes and think of England.

This day was filled with lots of sleep, actually going shopping, reading Foucault (and even understanding some of it), and watching so many different things I can hardly remember what it all was. Let me think... SGA: Rising, Stargate Season 8 New Order, Top Gear with David Tennant, the first half of The Princess Bride and The Return from SGA again. And now, to top it off, the rest of Sabrina (with my most beloved Harrison Ford) is on the telly, and I'll watch it as I settle into my bed and finish off this day, now that the high-pitched laughter and screaming at most annoying frequencies from my flatmate's room have subsided. Thank God for that, at times I just wished my eardrums would split so I wouldn't have to hear any more of it, or they might choke on something and that would make them shut up. Vianne suggested threatening them with spoons, but they would have understood neither the threat nor the joke. Would have been a waste of a perfectly good movie quote. But bless it, now quietness reigns. Yay.

Mittwoch, 2. Januar 2008

A day to my liking.

Well this day certainly was very relaxed. I started at something like eleven by getting up, grabbing my laptop and settling down in the kitchen with a nice cup of coffee watching SGA and glancing at the beautiful snow that was falling outside. I have no idea if I'll ever post the things that I wrote this morning. Heavy thoughts with a heavy hangover do not make for the cheeriest reading. I had a very late brunch with my friends then and after they left I curled up on my couch alternately watching some films and dozing off. A very nice day off. Right now I'm trying to shake off the scary thoughts about all the dreadful things that might happen, because if they happen they will whether I worry or not. I guess I'm a little paranoid. Oh well.

Tomorrow should be a bit more busy than today. I'll go and buy some more food and I need to print and read a bunch of things. And I should get started on my presentation that is due in two weeks. Well, that too involves printing and reading at first.

Dienstag, 1. Januar 2008

Happy New Year!

After a not so great start into the new year (actually we kinda missed it because there was no countdown at Potsdamer Platz, something I found rather sad) I'm now nice and cozily settled into my room and about to watch lots of films. There's not much else I can do with this hangover.

I wish you all a wonderful year 2008!